Thursday, December 16, 2010

"Clash of the Titans: An Ode to Sarah Palin"

This post originally appeared in the Huffington Post.

First, a disclaimer, this post has absolutely nothing to do with Sarah Palin's political views. This is merely a hopefully comedic exploration of a reality television show, its hosts and guests.

Congratulations Sarah Palin, you helped usher in another Kate Gosselin television breakdown. I think we all knew it could be done.

On the most recent installment of Sarah Palin Conquers Alaska, sorry, I mean, Sarah Palin's Alaska, its Sarah versus Kate. These two may have more in common than either would like to admit. I have a sneaking suspicion that in high school you could find either one of these lovely ladies offering to be the cheerleader on the top of the pyramid, while feigning surprise that they "accidentally" wore shoes with cleats.

Kate Gosselin, who verbally bulldozed her husband on a weekly basis in front of a captivated television audience, headed up north to Alaska to pay a visit to Sarah Barracuda herself. And coincidentally, in the episode we see Sarah take more than a few jabs at the First Dude. At one point she proclaims that they might as well eat because moose burgers because Todd sure isn't going to catch any fish.

Oh boy! Or should I say, oh woman!

Now, drum roll please, its time to camp. While there was precipitation outside, Kate was definitely the one who rained on the parade. Kate dutifully looked after her brood. And by that I mean she took up residence under a makeshift tent, the only dry space of ground around. Kate then proceeded to do what any rational person who is cold and wet does, talk about it ad nauseam. Kate, as much as you complain about the circumstances, it isn't going to make them any better.

Sarah, meanwhile, in a Stepford Wife-like sing songy voice skips around the campgrounds with a jolliness that is almost as troubling as Kate's Debbie-downer demeanor. Oh Sarah, please stop talking about how much character this adventure is building. Not everything in life has to be an endurance test.

Am I proponent of strong women? You betcha! I simply don't understand those who aren't. Think about what it means for a moment.

But this clash of the titans wasn't about showcasing strong women. This was about watching Mama Grizzly triumph. In the words of Kate Gosselin, "all hail you Amazon woman."

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